Life Marked By Beauty

It's been awhile...

2007-09-12T08:19:00.000-07:00

Alright, I know, there's sucky. .and then below that, past loser and dweeb, is me. I totally ditched blogging, and I'm not entirely sure I'm back even now. However, here is a new post to get all you peeps updated on what's been going on.

Starting with......... I lost my job. Around the middle of August, they closed my office, and two other offices in the same week - putting many people out of work. So, basically since then I disappeared from my condo living for about 10 days - doing family stuff and friend stuff. Then, reluctantly, I returned home. I only use that word because frankly, I think I regressed into what it was like being 21 and living at home and hanging out with my Mom. I miss her a lot, it's the one thing that kinda puts a downer on living 2hrs away.. but otherwise, once I actually got back into my condo I felt a lot better - a lot more like myself, funny enough.

I started my "Official" job hunting last week Monday, and although I was attending seminars from a Market Readiness Service place.. it wasn't about looking for a job, it was about HOW to look for one. So, basically that has been my focus since then. I have my first interview tomorrow - doing a job very similar to the one I had previously been doing. Wish me luck!

As for other news, there isn't much. I've put all the boys on hold - they interest me little now that there's this huge other thing going on in my life. I don't have time to get into any type of relationship until I get myself settled back into some type of groove. I've also set up daily goals for myself - mostly to keep SOME kind of structure around. (It's very difficult to be without a job.. you'd think it would be great, like a uber vacation - it's not.) So, daily goals are: 1hr of exercise, at least 1 personal goal (this could be anything, going to the bank, finishing something I was meaning to do for awhile, going shopping, etc.) and 2-4hrs dedicated to some type of job searching/applying/resumes, etc. So far, I'm not doing too bad. The exercise is beginning to feel like a bit too much... but, it's not even noon yet today and I have 50mins done.

Finally, I just wanted to share a picture with you all that I created for one my of RP characters... I know most of you aren't into that whole RP scene... but.. still. I enjoy the picture and therefore felt the need to post it here. Take a look! (To see it larger, just click on it.)

Alright, that's it for me, miss you all and I'll try to catch up on blogs the SECOND I find some motivation.. gah....

~Huggers and all that jazz~

Updated 101 Things in 1001 Days.

2007-08-29T05:07:00.000-07:00

For those of you who used to visit my old blog - you'll remember the 101 Things in 1001 Days list that I wrote up - I thought I would move it over here as Mishy suggested to me yesterday while we were at Wonderland. So, below I've taken all the things off the list that still need to be completed. I'm just under half way done the list - though, I'm running outta time quickly!! The list was originally posted on March 15/06 - So I only have 470 days left to complete the tasks below - eepp, that's less than half of the time.

1) Update my website, because it needs it badly.
2) Better my skillz in Photoshop.
3) Learn a new computer program.
4) Attend a LAN.
5) Change the layout on Luca's pages.
6) Fly somewhere, anywhere.
7) Take a course to further my education.
8) Understand and maintain my finances correctly and without going into debt!
9) Get along with my sister better, for an extended period of time.
10) Try not to be so opinionated...
11) Learn to shoot a gun.
12) Go painballing.
13) Write a story or chronicle.
14) Play video games with someone - and win.
15) Cook dinner, and invite my family over to my place to eat.
16) Cook dinner, and invite 'the Girls' to my place in Cambridge.
17) Be in a serious relationship, or happy not being in one at all.
18) Get a new computer.
19) Rollerblade, regularly.
20) Go to Ottawa.
21) ... and eat a Beaver Tail.
22) Go on a trip somewhere, anywhere.
23) Build something.. out of wood, or metal or something like that.
24) Try painting again, until I create an art piece I'd hang up in my home.
25) Learn how to drive a motorcycle.
26) Do Karaoke.
27) Learn how to play an instrument.
28) Do some kind of Volunteer work.
29) Buy a new video game, and beat it.
30) Manage to keep 2-3 months of income in my savings for 'emergencies'.
31) Build a computer, or at least add hardware to one.
32) Go on a sail boat.
33) Learn how to drive Standard.
34) Get back into Photography.
35) Go to a preformance. (Musical/Paly/Concert, doesn't matter.)
36) Be more involved/interested in the world around me.
37) Actually vote.
38) Decorate my first Christmas Tree in my own place.
39) Buy something from a sex shop.
40) Rent porn.
41) Try snowboarding.
42) Oh oh! Get drunk and have sex while watching porn!
43) Go someplace to see fireworks. (it's been a few years)
44) Go to the beach.
45) Take a train.
46) Get over my fear of spiders.
47) Go jogging.
48) Go to the drive-in to see a flick.
49) Go fishing.
50) Go sleding.
51) Sew this years snowman on the the Christimas Tree Skirt.
52) Find a new interest.
53) Do a walkathon, swimathon, something athon.
54) Use my MP3 player & its software for what it's made for... music.
55) Learn how to code.
56) Give blood.

Is this an interrogation?

2007-08-15T04:09:00.000-07:00

I had a date on Saturday with Rock. And it confirmed my early comments about how I really didn't feel anything between us, even though we had stuff in common. I'm not sure what was so off about the date, it just wasn't all that fun. Nothing really bad happened (which would have made a great blog story) but nothing exciting did either. He came over, we watched a movie, ate pizza and wings and then he left after we talked awhile. I'm thinking I'm going to call it quits because I don't even have the slightest interest in him romantically.

Further to that, he asks a lot of questions... I mean, like a 5yr old nagging you.. heh. Examples? Sure! Why not. He asked things such as...

Rock: "Do you have your own air conditioner in here?"
Me: "Yep, I do."
Rock: "Cool, have you ever made it freezing in here?"
Me: ~blink~ "Have I ever... no? It doesn't get freezing in here usually, just comfortable. My parents place however gets really cold, I think it's because this is a condo and they live in a house.." (Rock looking around, nodding, not really paying attention.)
Rock: "Did you want to make it freezing?"
Me: ~pauses to think and try to figure out hidden message here..~ "Are you hot?"
Rock: "Yeah."
Me: "OH! Ok, yeah sure, I can turn it down a few degrees... "
Rock: "I don't want to force you to turn it down, only do it if you're hot...."

Rock: "Did you read all those books? So you're like a reader?"
Me: "Not really, I mean, I read on occasion."
Rock: "I'd say you're a reader..."
Me: "Ok, well I guess compared to someone who never reads, I'm a reader..."

Rock: "Did you put that eyeliner on yourself?"
Me: ~Thinking, why, does it look bad?~ "Yes..."
Rock: "Did you do it because of the colour of your eyes?"
Me: "I guess.....?"

No seriously guys, he asked me everything under the sun. Can I go out on your balcony? Can I look in your fridge? Are your parents proud of you for buying this place all on your own? Can I go wash my hands? You have sprinklers in your place? How do you find the building treats you? Can I look in your closet? Does your couch clean up easily? Etc. etc. etc. It just went on and on. Sometimes he wouldn't ask, and just did.

So, that's the scoop on that. I also met a really great guy at the bar that does magic, he's a bit younger, but we had a lot of the same interests.. so far, no call from him. Apparently he is just getting out of a long term relationship - so my chances don't look good. (sad)

Anyway, have a great one!
Rebecca ~

Oh, Yawn! I'm so tired this morning.

2007-08-02T04:01:00.000-07:00

I slept in a bit this morning, I think I'm running myself a little too thin lately - and it's time for a couple early nights to bed to really pack away the sleeping hours, you know? It's funny, because it's so nice to be busy and running around like a chicken, but on the flip side I miss just coming home, having dinner and getting into a bath and relaxing. However, that's boring, and then I would have nothing to Blog about!!

Thanks for your comments everyone about my dating and and weight - I'm happy with both right now, things are going pretty much as planned. I still haven't seen either Rock or Lion yet - however, that's because between the three of us - no one has any time. Lion has worked all week, at both his jobs. Rock has been working non-stop also because it's month end for him. Rock did however call me last night while I was out and left me a message saying he would like to get together next week if we could find the time. Lion keeps messaging me when I'm not at the computer, so I called him late last night and the poor guy sounded so tired. It was nearly midnight (I only called cause he had messaged me a few minutes prior) and he was crashing b/c he had just gotten home from work and needed to be up in 6hrs to do it again. So, we'll see when I see him next.

As for "love bite" details.. turns out that Lion is a bit of a bitter, or maybe it was my fault, either way before I knew it I had marks all over my neck - which are still slowly fading. I'm not complaining, because it was nice to see such passion - my only request is maybe not so high because I don't have anything to cover it. (However, I did purchase my very first turtle neck sweater thingy last night, so I'm prepared for a next time - just incase. ~laughs)

Gah, there's so much to tell everyone, ok, I'll tell you quickly about Tuesday night. GOO called me up, she's on vacation, and said to get ready that I was coming out for a drink. Normally, I'd just say no, however - it was one drink and as she pointed out: "You're 26, you can handle it." So, I got myself spruced up a little bit and off I went - first we went to some new place that we had heard of, turns out it's closed all but 2 nights a week... so that didn't work. Instead, we headed over to Dooleys. We're sitting at the bar, talking, drinking our drinks (I had one called "pornstar" and it tastes exactly like blue freezey which makes it very dangerous.) when she suddenly goes "Oh, look at this". When she said it, I thought she was checking out some guy so as I look over my shoulder I see movement of someone in an orange shirt, but they've already moved past my line of sight so I turn around to look the other way and who do you think it was??? GOO's ex-husband (separated)! I couldn't believe it, only because like 20mins earlier GOO was telling me about how they had spent the whole day with their daughter and he had said he was out with the guys. Apparently not, unless by "guys" he meant 'blond girl I'm on a date with....' So, it was pretty uncomfortable. We left shortly after that and as we passed where they were playing pool GOO stopped to talk about their daughter for a couple seconds and the Blond girl comes over to me and says "This is a little akward for me..." to which I responded "It's a little awkward for me too, and I'm not dating either of them!" She didn't laugh, I did.. heh.

Anyway, now I have to get going, 45 minutes and I need to be at work! Gah. Have a great one.

Rebecca ~

July is over?!!!

2007-07-31T14:43:00.000-07:00

Alright, how about some weight talk first?
From the beginning of the month, to the end of the month I've lost exactly 6lbs. Now, I was up at the beginning of the month because of my Sisters wedding - but still, I'm down. Heh. I'm still not into One-derland, but close. Hopefully this next month I'll see 1s instead of 2s.. fingers crossed. According to my record keeping, I exercised a total of 7 days this month, which really isn't good I guess, since it should be like 2 - 3 times/week which would mean I should have gotten 12 exercises in or something close to that... but still.. that's like 58% to goal if I use those numbers for exercising anyway. Blah. I'll try harder this month.

Life is busy, my days are just swamped with work at my job, which is good I guess because it keeps me busy and allows me overtime - which I need HORRIBLY bad. Ok ok, onto the juicy stuff. I've decided to watch what I type a bit, only because I don't want anything to be said that shouldn't be.. ya know?

I met for a date with Rock this past Friday - it wasn't anything too big, just coffee at Williams - but it was good conversation and he's one of those guys you look at and just think "this is a very kind person" do you know what I mean? His eyes just seemed.. well.. even though the word sounds silly, "kind". We have a lot in common, same interests and such and he lives in town. So, I'm hoping we can go out again to get to know eachother better - I"m not sure how attracted to him yet though. I think if anything does develope between the two of us it will have to grow over time, you know?

AND I also met The Lion, on the Saturday after. I hadn't planned on meeting him, but it all just sorta turned out that way and I have to tell you - I was terrified. I don't know what it was, I guess because we kinda had a few deep conversations on the phone so there was more to expect there? I don't know. But.. it went really well. I have NO clue if what happened will turn into something more relationshipy or not, but all I can do is sit back and see. There's so much to tell here, I just don't think it's good to kiss and tell.. too much, anyway. Lets just say though, that there was some action, and the marks are still viable today - 3 days later. ~laughs~ Is that enough detail to give the gist of things? If not, lemme know and I'll think of something more to say. I'm waiting now to see if/when this boy wants to get together again.

Alright, can you believe it? I'm out there, I'm dating, I'm loosing weight and I'm actually DOING something with my life for once.. how strange for me. ~laughs~ I'll try to visit everyones Blogs soon, miss you all!

Rebecca ~

Velvet Lounge - Sky Bar.

2007-07-21T07:35:00.000-07:00

That's right peeps, me and GOO were out on the town last night. She called me up at like 9:30pm while I laid on the couch, watching some re-run of Medium, half falling asleep and asked "Can you be ready in like, an hour, wanna go out?" So I did, I dragged myself off the couch, re-did my hair from the morning, and put on some fresh makeup and out I went.

We started at Dooleys, ordered ourselves a drink, first guy to hit on both of us was itchy sweater guy. He had a HORRIBLE sweater on and the only reason we knew it was itchy (other than the fact that it looked itchy) was that he brushed up against GOO while ordering himself to drink. I think he said the line "I'm not going to lie to you two, it's really nice to be able to stand between two very beautiful women." He said this of course, while he awkwardly stood between us, trying to talk to the people behind the bar. 'Please go away Sir', is all I wanted to say. He was grungy, and old, do I want a piece of that - no, thank you!

Next guy to cross our paths was a guy in his 50s, maybe 60s even - we'll just call him VERY hopeful. WE were at the bar, ordering ourselves our second round, and GOO says something about this guy behind me looking at her - and that she thinks he's going to buy our drinks for us and to hurry up and get the waitresses attention to pay her. I have to say, if the waitress doesn't take your money RIGHT away after serving the drink, you're screwed. They paid for us, and there wasn't a damn thing we could do about it. So, we say our thank you's and then decide - NOW, would be a good time to ditch our fav spot at the bar and try our luck at a game of darts. So with another quick thanks we leave, quickly. Well, after about 10 mins or so - Mr.Hopeful shows up beside us and brings MORE drinks. What the hell do you do with that? I'm so not practiced up for this kinda thing! No seriously, how do you deal with this.... So, he's talking, joking, wants to play in a game of darts with us and then FINALLY he looks at GOO and says "I've noticed you in here a few times, like four times... blah blah blah." And when he says this, I'm secretly cheering that I will not be the one to make his night shitty by telling him he's old. Whew. Eventually, after much strategic ignoring and avoiding, him and his friend left us alone... awkward, yes, very much so.

Tired of hearing the shitty music playing at Dooleys, we left, it was like oldies night or something - a girl can only take so much before she needs some rockin beats to get her juices flowing. ~winks~ Oh wow, that sounded so much dirtier than I meant it to, anyway. We decided to hit up the Velvet Lounge - aka the local strip club. Fantastic. Actually, we avoided all the area's with stripping and headed directly up to the Sky Bar - which is crazy fun. It had fantastic music, guys like you wouldn't believe, and there's no roof! You're on the freakin like 4th floor and above you is the sky.. stars and all. It was lots of fun, we talked to some people we met, danced with them awhile, flirted, I grabbed some guys ass and dispite his insitant statements for me to cup his penis - I decided against it. It was a good time, however, I really need to find a pair of very fashionable yet VERY comfy shoes to wear for my next visit.

So that's all I'm going to write right now, today was a verrrrrrrrrrrry long day, but that's another story for another time. Hope you all are having a great weekend. Eat Healthy and delicious food, drink lots of water and enjoy life!

Rebecca ~

Lion and the Hare.

2007-07-19T03:52:00.000-07:00

Morning everyone, so, another quick update.

I have two possible prospects from eHarmony, fantastic? Perhaps.

The first guy lives in my area, he's about 8yrs old than I am - which I'm not entirely sure how that will change things, but I'm open and willing to find out. I think I'll call him Rock, cause he likes Rock music - honestly, I can't come up with anything better. He's rather sweet, made some comments about how I was hot (aw), and seems interested enough. At first, he called me all these nicknames - like right off the bat, the very first message read "Hey bec," and turned into a process of "becks, bex, girl, B" I was a little put off by it - dunno why. The nickname 'B' has kinda caught my eye though - I like it, or maybe I'm just getting to know him a bit better through talking on the phone and email. Either way, we'll see where it leads - I need to put myself out there a bit. I haven't felt any immediate flash of interest, but then again I rarely do when it comes to men.

However, that leads me into my story about Leo, aka the King. ~laughs~ Ok, no seriously, this guy... I dunno, you know those moments when you're talking to someone and you suddenly become aware that you're swooning a little, and your defenses are down far too early? That happened last night, Leo and I talked on the phone for nearly 3hrs, and I could have continued talking no problem. There's just something about him, something that interests me and makes me want to listen. He actually reminded me a little of my long time internet friend 'O' only because of the way he spoke, the way he broke down a situation and thought process. I felt like I was talking to someone I had known for a long time. Again I say, it's a rarity that I would be so comfortable with someone on a first time conversation... but I just was. I don't want to be one of those people who is too cautious, but on the flip side, I don't want to be blind to what's right in front of me. This Leo guy is going to be a HUGE handful for me I think - and now, btw, I'm terrified to meet him. ~laughs~

On a really quick side note, I did the treadmill again last night, 32mins, 500+cals and I was at like 1.96miles. I was so irritated I couldn't make that 2mile mark, oh well, it'll come.. I'm so impatient though!

Anyway, I gotta get ready for work.
Have a wonderful day everyone.

Rebecca ~

eHarmony, where are you leading me...?

2007-07-16T18:39:00.000-07:00

I'm moving onto the next stages in my eHarmony quest..

I nicknamed this guy, Boy1, only because he was the first guy out of the group that I'm talking to that made me think "He's a boy". Even though Boy1 is like..30yrs old, he talks like a child. The things and dreams he has, are things I thought about 10yrs ago in my life, and for the record that would make me 16 yrs old. I know my friend GOO at work says you have to minus 5yrs off a guys age... but close to 15yrs in the past.. not a good sign. I dunno, maybe I'm being too hard on him? You decide... I'll tell you more about another guy I've been talking to later - might even lead up to a date!!

(Too bad about Boy1, cause he was kinda cute too!)

Me: What kinda.... living arrangement.. do you have? ~L~
Boy1: i still live at home, i have like a loft where i live
Boy1: im saving for a house though
Boy1: I wana buy a big property
Me: How big?
Boy1: lol as big as i can get
Me: ~laughs~ Like you want to run a farm?
Boy1: with a descet or small house
Boy1: na i just wana buy as much land as i can
Me: How come?
Boy1: it will be worth a lot of money
Boy1: I can live there
Boy1: fix up the house
Me: What? You want to buy a lot of land, with a run down house? ~gives you a questioning look~
Boy1: its more of an investment
Boy1: i mean i would prefer to buy a good house
Boy1: I will see
Boy1: i work in toronto so it cant be too far
Me: Right.
Me: Lots of land near Toronto will cost a whole lot of $$$
Boy1: yeah
Boy1: depends i wear
Boy1: i duno im not sure yet what i wana buy
Boy1: but Ill know when i see it
Boy1: ive been looking around
Me: Are you talking like a large lot, or like.. a farm house on farm land? Like with fields.. ?
Boy1: just a big lot
Boy1: that i could build my own house on
Me: OH ok, that's not land then.. that's just a large lot. When you say land, I think that you mean with fields and such.

Huggles,
Rebecca~

1.75 Miles and 500 Cal Burned! I'm rockin baby!

2007-07-04T15:44:00.000-07:00

I'm back from the wedding, back from the long weekend (Yay Canada Day!) and I just got home and went exercising. 32minutes on the Tread mill later I've walked 1.75 Miles and burned away 500 cals!!! Can you believe it?! I'm tired as hell now though, and have to make dinner and do some dishes and laundry, but still, yay me! I even jogged for a short (see very short) period of time.

I'm determined to drop into One-derland.

Other news?
My sister is married, so now I have a Brother-in-Law - how strange!
I signed up for eHarmony last night, we'll see how that goes.. heh.
I put on 3 pounds over the long weekend, curse you long car rides and bad eating!

I guess that's about it. Here are a couple pictures from the wedding, and I'll post more next time hopefully, her BF and myself were the photographers - I think we took somewhere around 1000 photos at the wedding! Yay for digital!

I'll try to update more later, miss you all!!!

Judging Amy gets me every time!

2007-06-24T07:37:00.000-07:00

On weekend mornings, even though I'd really like to be asleep until like 9am or something - I'm not. I'm wide awake around 6am and toss and turn until around 7am when I give up trying to find sleep and just get out of bed and watch whatever re-runs are on TV. Among these shows is the wonderful Judging Amy. A show I never watched when it aired originally, it just wasn't my thing at the time... but now, I find that I rather enjoy the show - it's a little quirky, and the characters are very.. individual. If you don't know the show, you'll just have to watch it to figure out what I'm talking about - but anyway - my point is I don't think there has been an episode that I've watched and NOT cried. Every damn time, I'm crying, usually more than once. I not sure what it is, the drama of the show, the sad sappy music, the meanings and hidden meanings behind every little corner.. it just gets to me and I find myself in tears. Anyway, just thought I'd share a moment of how pathetically sappy I can be sometimes... heh.

So, things are going.. I've been super irritated with my weight the last two days. I've gone up 0.4lbs. I know it's not much - but I was working on LOOSING so I've done the exact opposite somehow. Honestly, I don't understand it. I've stayed within my pnt range, I've been exercising (I don't even usually do exercise lately!) and it seems the more effort I"m putting in, the worse I'm doing. Frig, the gym/party room finally opened up here at the condo and I've been down there three times. I've been walking around town, getting exercise that way and even doing a huge clean in my house. (Which would be considered accidental exercise!) And yet, from Friday to Saturday I gained .2lbs and then from Sat to Sun I've gained another .2lbs. I don't really know what else to say then stupid scale, curse you!

Anyway, my parents should be here shortly so I should go check on the apple pie I'm heating up for my Dad, I picked it up from the Farmers Market yesterday, I hope he enjoys it. (I'm having a small piece incase anyone was wondering - I'll even factor it into my pnts for the day, not that that seems to be doing any good lately.. ~grumble~)

Enjoy the last day of the weekend everyone!
Rebecca ~

Today . . .

2007-06-22T04:04:00.000-07:00

Today, I'm as close to the goal of 200lbs by Tessa & Chris' wedding as I've ever been - it's right before the weekend, so I hope that I can maintain at least for the next two days. So close, it would be a shame to not make it now.. Once I reach that goal I can work on my next one with a reward of going to Wonderland with Mishy.

Today, is exactly 2 months since Goober and I last spoke in any manner...

Today is FRIDAY and I'm so glad that it is, I"m getting a haircut this weekend and I hope that I love it.

Hope you all have a good day, today.
Rebecca ~

How's 'bout just askin?

2007-06-19T14:47:00.000-07:00

I debated and debated on the drive home if I should bother posting this, and if I should talk about other things that have been going on lately - I've decided to focus this post on only this one item instead of enlarging the post into a giant rant.

First of all, lets just review a little here for a second. I'm at about 207lbs. I can only guess at how large I was when I began loosing weight, eating right, and trying to exercise more about 1 1/2 years ago... but if I had to take a stab in the dark, I'd say about 300lbs. I'm hoping beyond hope I wasn't larger then even that.. but I can't be sure, and the possibility is very real because I wasn't weighing myself and I know I was much larger then I was even at 280lbs a year prior to that. In the past 9 months, I've really put more effort into the way I dress and look each day - but compared to doing nearly nothing, and wearing clothes that were baggy, stained and horrible.. that's not saying too much; Basically, I dress how I should have been dressing all along. Alright, so that's the history on me. Here comes the bullshit I heard today . . .

Apparently, the rumor that's going around my old office is that I had that stomach stapling surgery - gastric bypass surgery or whatever you call it? I have no idea what it's called to be honest with you, but I do know what it is. At first, when I heard this news of my apparent surgery, I thought it was funny. People are known to gossip in the office, and I figured the gossip might have got started because of all the new employees my office has recently hired (around 50 people) who saw me last week and heard all the people who do know me telling me how good I'm looking, etc. I dismissed it for the most part, asked a couple close friends if they had heard this news - they hadn't, then again they don't really hang in those crowds - or any crowds for that matter. So, oh well, let people believe what they want to believe.

However, one of the friends I told decided it was bullshit, and decided to ask the person who had actually come right out and told me they had heard this rumor and decided to go to the source and just ASK me if it was true. (Thank you to GAL) So, my friend found out who it was who spread this rumor - and although it's not surprising that it was these two people STR & ALE since they are known to be gossipers - I still couldn't believe it!!!! They KNOW me, they've worked with me for 3+ years.. they saw that I worked at loosing the weight, that it started 1 1/2 years ago.. that I was going out for walks 3x/day and trying to eat right. And STILL those bitches have the balls to tell numerous people that I had surgery and THAT'S how I lost the weight?? Now that makes me irritated. How dare they try to take that accomplishment away from me...

And to all those people out there who gossip to make yourselves feel better, or to excuse yourself from the tasks you do not accomplish for yourself... you're a very sad individual. Never in my life have I held up my failures, and not only blamed someone else, but told someone that their own accomplishments were all lies.

I think I'll stop my post there... people should worry about bettering themselves, and not so much about what's going on around them.

For everyone who is reading this, I hope that you all have a fantastic day, and that you are extremely proud of everything you've done for yourself, for others, and to better your own life.

Accidental Exercise.

2007-06-18T03:48:00.000-07:00

Morning everyone, sorry I haven't posted a new Blog post lately. I've been busy with all kinds of stuff, including Facebook, yes, that's right. I've signed up for the stupid thing and now lots of time is spent updating that thing instead of doing so on here. If any of you are on Facebook, lemme know and we can be friends and then I'll at least see/talk to you through the spans when I'm updating it and not Blogger.

Anyway, the title of this blog post is Accidental Exercise because I was talking to Mishy last night, and realized that still I hate to exercise in general. It's just really not my thing, I don't enjoy it all that much.. I don't feel great afterwards like they say you should and I really still find it to be a bit of a chore. However, I do greatly enjoy what I would consider "accidental" exercise - such as:
* Flying a kite, and even more exercise when you fly it on a hill with weeds that are up to your waist so you're running up hill and fighting the pull of weeds at the same time. This definitely got my heart rate going.
* Walking through Canada's Wonderland would be good exercise, and you didn't even mean to do it!
* Rowing a boat.
* Playing catch with the dog.

Etc. etc. Do you see what I'm saying? These things I can do without having to think about it being exercise.. and therefore, I don't view it in the same way so it's not as difficult to get myself to DO them. I have decided it's time to find more ways to bring in Accidental Exercise so that I can get fit without even knowing it! Any ideas????

And finally, quickly, thanks to anyone who gave advice for the weekend battle with food and family, I didn't do badly this weekend - I only gained0 .2lbs which is close to nothing considering I was gaining 2 - 3 lbs each weekend. So, I'm at least where I was.. and now we'll see if I can reach goal by the wedding in 2 weeks. It seems very unlikely at this point but I'm going to go for it anyway. 8lbs in 14 days. That's a lot to loose.. but we'll see - so cross your fingers for me!

Rebecca ~

So much going on... hope this isn't too long.

2007-06-12T03:44:00.000-07:00

I'm back from the weekend! My sisters Bridal Shower went pretty good, there were a lot of people there, and there was good food, she got a lot of stuff she wanted and I think we all had a pretty good time. The afternoon was spent visiting, eating, doing a few games and opening gifts. Then after a few hours the cousins (and their kids) headed to the beach to pick stones for her wedding. The stones are going to be used as center piece decorations on the tables, it's kinda hard to explain without being able to draw and show you - so you'll just have to trust me. After that, we returned to my cousins place and had a bonfire and ate pie irons and drank wine. It was a great time, and I'm really glad that Tessa had fun. Happy Shower again Tess - only 19 sleeps now??!

Eating wasn't horrible horrible this weekend, it definitely could have been worse, but it was bad enough as it was. I'm up the 2lbs I seem to gain every time I go "Up Home" for a visit. Oh well, I'll work on trying to go back down again. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to deal during the weekend when you're with family and there is just SO much food to consume? I really need to know my limits and stick to them because I KNOW the problem I have is over-eating on yummy food, that's a huge temptation for me so I'll have to figure out a way to pull in the reins. Also, some exercise would do me good - although I did try to fly a kite on Sunday, it just didn't go so well - not nearly enough wind as I ran through waist high grass in a field.

However, I had a bit of an ego lift at work all day yesterday as everyone went on and on about how good I look. Some people even said they didn't recognize me. This had as much to do with any weight loss I may have done since I moved out here as it did with the fact that I've really changed the way I dress, wear my hair, etc. It was still nice to have people talking about how nice I looked though - thanks to everyone who took the time to say so. ~Winks~

So, the reason I went to Head Office was for training on the new Savers system - meh, I wasn't impressed at all. It's very windows based, which isn't very fast to move through compared to our old Dos based Halcion. I just hope that the Sales Brks like the system, because they are the ones who are going to be on it 24/7. If the system was able to do ALL functions, instead of only like.. 70% maybe I'd be a little more keen on it, but as it stands - there seems to be a lot of fixing and unable to do such and such, etc. All we can do is see how it goes however, and they're planning on launching it on Friday I believe. So we'll know pretty soon if it's a great system or a dud.

AND FINALLY, here are the photos of my new car!! I'm still really enjoying driving it, I did a lot of firsts with it this weekend. It was the first time I used my wipers, which have like.. 12 speeds with the little dial and two settings combined. First time I used my lights for driving at night, and I even have fog lights! AND yesterday was my first day of taking her on the highway on the drive home from my parents - it was pretty snazzy. Easy to drive, didn't shake when I hit 100 like my Honda would have. I don't really miss it at all - and I thought I would have a really hard time switching cars, but so far, so good! Isn't the colour pretty??? I just love it, and everyone keeps saying that "it's so me" which is cool too - although really, I think that the car is much snazzier than I am.. heh.

Rebecca ~

For my Mom and her pretty Garden.

2007-06-07T04:11:00.000-07:00

I know this post isn't the post you all wanted to see with photos of my new car - WHICH I LOVE! It's so pretty, I actually think that it might be too cool for me to ride in. I will post the photos of the car as soon as I take them.. as we speak, I'm getting the digital camera ready to take with me to work today.

So, instead I'm going to post a few pictures I took of flowers in my Mom's garden. She works on her garden a lot, and it shows. All the small things she has added really personalize them like her amazing bird bath, iron gate, iron head boards from old fashion beds, lots of frog statues, the pagoda that sits at the pond - it's all just so pretty. Ontop of that her actual plants look fantastic, some have been there for a few years so they're really taken root and grow to a beautiful healthy size, her yearly pots always look great, although I haven't even seen them this year - when I go visit on Monday I'll try and snap a picture of them too. Anyway Mom, I just wanted to let you know that your gardens are some of the nicest I've seen - your hard work really does make them what they are. Love you.

Ok, a short rundown of what else is going on in my life. I've stopped working overtime this week only because I think I'm going to run outta work since my Brks weren't in the office yesterday, they were all out getting trained on the new system. Monday, that's why I'll be at my parents - going to head office to be trained on the new system myself... I hope I like Savers, because I really like Halcion. Meh, no choice in the matter really. I'm excited to see everyone from work though, it's not often I get to hook up with those friends. Weight wise this week I'm doing fantastic - totally back down from the weekend mistakes and fighting to drop lower if possible because this weekend is my Sisters Bridal Shower. I have the gift, just have to wrap it, and hopefully it will be a blast. I should bring the camera to try and snap a few photos. OK, sorry I gotta run, but I'm running late this morning.. I;ll try to post tomorrow before I leave for the weekend. Have a great one everyone!!

Rebecca ~

Another nite out.

2007-06-03T18:28:00.000-07:00

Last night, Saturday night, Mishy, GOO and myself decided to try out Dooleys - to see if we could come up with another interesting night of tales to tell. However, although I played pool, darts and air hockey there were no crazy stories to be re-told. We did meet some girl, who I guess I'll nickname RB for now. She was nice enough, hung out with us pretty much all evening - the reason I think we had NO luck at all (despite Mishy's claim that she's a man-repellent) was because there was a hockey game on last night, and almost every single guy there was watching the game - plus, there really wasn't anyone of much interest to any of us. The only guy I even considered approaching we nicknamed 'Lonely-guy' because he played darts and sat alone for like.. 2hrs. When I finally decided to move into the general area of where he was to further decide if I should talk to him (he didn't really seem like my type, but honestly, only one I saw as potential anything), along came his boyfriend... so... that was it for that story. Dead in the water. Only number we scored between the three of us all night was RB's - who seemed interested in hanging out another time - I might take her up on her offer, hey, I need all the networking I can find!! I did have one single guy come over and talk to RB and myself - but that's only because RB knew him from the Stag her Beachy Boytoy was attending that evening (Yeah, you'd like to think there would have been lots of single men to talk with at the Stag - but there wasn't, and like 90% of the men that were there were over 40yrs old so.... ) he did however put his arm around my shoulders while he was talking, so there was some male contact of sorts - score for me? I think it'd be lame if I counted that at all towards a ding ding in my corner... anyway.. it was still a night out, I had fun talking to RB and Mishy.

On the other side of things, Mishy and I hung out all day and had lots of fun shopping and eating and doing whatever. It was hot as Hell, and I really hope the little bit of rain we're getting tonight cools down the temp outside - WAY too hot for my liking, and we aren't even into the summer months yet - eep. I'm still searching and searching for shoes to go with the chocolate brown dress I bought for my Sisters wedding - here's hoping I find some soon. I might have to hit up the Mall this week. (Even though I've been to two other Malls and all the little shoe stores in the area.) Thanks for the visit Mishy - I had fun.

In other news, I bought a new car!!! Yes, that's right, I finally made the decision and bought myself that 2001 Ford Focus I mentioned earlier. I have no idea if I'll love it or not - we'll see. I'm hoping once I get use to it, I'll love it so much I wont remember the 1991 Honda Accord. Heh. I mean, the Focus is a huge step up for me - 10yrs younger, pretty colour, air conditioning, airbags, a CD player and radio that doesn't cut in and out, and even power locks with a remote. So, it has a lot of stuff that I currently do not have in my vehicle - that alone should guarantee success, but we'll see. (I'll post a piccy once I pick up my new baby.)

Anyway, hope everyone is doing well, I'm going to try a dinner that Cowgirl Warrior mentioned on her site tomorrow night I think, so I hope it tastes fantastic. This weekend was horrible eating wise for me - I don't even want to think about the scale tomorrow.. it's not going to be good news, I don't know what my problem is. Enough is enough though. Starting tomorrow, I'm back on track, and staying focused until the wedding on July 1st. I really want to look as good as possible in the dress I bought.. it'll be my first time wearing one since my grade 8 graduation like forever ago - soo.... heh. Anyway, I'm really going now. Have a good night all.

I suck! This I know.

2007-05-30T03:21:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry I haven't been around to do any posting lately, or to comment on all your lovely blogs - first I was on vacation - and that cold I caught is killing me. Last night was the first sleep in three days that I actually got enough sleep. (Perhaps thanks to the glass of wine my neighbour shared with me before bed - she's so thoughtful! Heh.) It's completely a head cold, so I guess that's better than lets say the flu or a cold that's found it's was into my chest - but I have to tell you, I don't really care if it could be worse.. because it's been almost 6 days of feeling like shit, and I'm over it. I'd really like for it to go away now. At least my throat is feeling a tiny bit better, I traded that for headaches though it seems.

Not much is new, no new guy stories, though Mishy might be coming down to visit this weekend and that could change.. hopefully I'll have something interesting to say after our day/night out. I'm still searching for a pair of shoes for my sisters wedding, though since I arrived home on Sunday, I've not gone shopping once - and if you want to see a sad fridge, take a look at mine. I literally have like a jar of pickled beats, one cucumber, some parm cheese and WW Bread. That's it.. and entire fridge for all that. Needless to say... it's time to go shopping, any takers?

I still haven't cried over Goober yet, if anyone was wondering. His Bday his on the 4th of June and this will be the first year.. in like 14yrs that I don't send anything. Such is life.

I've been shopping for a car, and found this 2001 Ford Focus ZTS - I don't know if I should get it or not. Do I love it? How do I know? It's so different from my 1991 Honda Accord - it handles different, drives different.. I can't decide. Anyone else out there drive a Ford Focus and could give me some clue as to if they enjoy it or not??

OK, I promise I'll try to write more later, and visit your blogs - but no promises until after I feel better. Miss you all!

Its been awhile, eh?

2007-05-26T08:47:00.001-07:00

I know, I know! I haven't written one post since my last little freak out one - I suck, this I know. I've actually been on vacation since last Friday, and so I haven't been home since - I went Up Home to visit family, and then afterwards came back Home with my parents - and I've been here since. It's been a constant run of events, shopping, entertaining, looking for a new car, etc. Oh, did I mention eating? There has been lots and lots of eating - mixed in with a bit of drinking - I can't even imagine how much I must have gained - I'll soon see since I'm heading home either today or tomorrow. Damn you Casey's and your sweet potatoe fries!!!! (yum)

Anyway, I've also caught a cold - or something. I'm not sure what's going on, if it's allergies or something else - my throat has been killing me since yesterday - and I've been sleeping and sleeping which isn't like me at all, I've also got a bit of a fever according to my Mom - sucky for the tail end of a vacation.

I'll try to write more later, talk to you all soon!

Does it Hurt?

2007-05-18T03:29:00.000-07:00

This morning isn't such a good morning - or maybe it is. I haven't cried since last Sunday over the whole Goober and I thing - however, I was talking about it last night with my Mom and I suppose that got it stuck in my head all night - so it's what I dreamed about. In all my life, never has someone hurt me like Goober has.. and I don't know that I'll ever forgive him for that. It's been 15+ yrs that him and I have been off and on.. and I'm so SICK of being treated like an object that can be tossed away, discarded and forgotten. I'm so TIRED of the indecisions, the selfishness and lack of commitment. One day, I will be completely, and totally over Him - and when that day happens I hope he regrets every moment, and finally sees what a DICK he has been, how horribly he treated me and knows exactly why we couldn't be friends... Oh, and fuck you, Goob.

I'm through with you.

(Heh, on a different note, I'm not crazy.. just very hurt and angry.. it's my Blog, and if I wanna bitch about it all, I'm gunna have to... sorry if it makes any of you uncomfy. Maybe one day I will feel differently, but today, as I write this post, I do not feel differently. If I could knee him in the groin like I did in my dream you better believe I'd do it.)

Sexy Jeans...

2007-05-17T03:50:00.000-07:00

On the Radio Station I listen to in the morning (Z103.5FM) they were talking about Jeans, and how often people wear them before washing them. I guess I picked it up from my mother who used to yell at me for washing everything all the time (even if I only wore it for like an hour) and so, I don't wash mine after every wear... in fact, I sometimes wait more than 3 wears before I'll wash them. I mean, they're jeans! I don't go commando in them (If you do, then I'd be washing them a lot more - you really don't want to take risks with that.) so unless I roll around in dirt all day or something - they just don't get dirty quickly. I mean, I sit in an office, at a desk, all day long. Worst thing that could happen is some of my coffee drips onto it or dust actually starts to settle on my legs... which, with the way I've been locked to my desk lately.. could start happening.

So, my question to you is, how many wears do you wait before washing your jeans?

Positives about waiting 2 - 3 washes:
* You wont wear out your clothes as fast.
* You wont be wasting water, laundry soap, etc. (They aren't dirty!)
* They fit better after the first wear anyway. (Unless of course, they were too big to begin with because you're slowly loosing weight and after the first wear it's all you can do to keep them up!)

So that's it, another post about a whole lot of nothing!

Rebecca ~

Swimming like a fishy...

2007-05-15T16:42:00.000-07:00

Nothing is really new with me lately - therefore this post is going to be rather dull. I fell into a bit of a rut emotionally and now I'm just trying to climb back out. I wasn't kind to myself on the weekend, I ate the completely wrong things and too much of what was offered - so now this week I'm just trying to undo the damage. I've increased my water intake in hopes of helping myself along - and now I feel like a freakin fish!! I hate that feeling where you actually feel like you have TOO much water inside, not to mention the constant trips to the bathroom, I bet everyone thinks I have a bladder problem at work. ~laughs~ oh well, if it helps me shed a pound more that would be fantastic... plus, I know it's good for you, and it flushes toxins and such out of your body - but I have to say that it really takes some serious concentration during the day to drink the correct amount, it's almost like I forget about it if I don't.

On a completely different note, I was looking around for photos to use on my Blog when I came across this: The CapressoH20 PLUS. I love pretty things, and even more than just pretty things I really enjoy pretty kitchen things. Now, I have an electric kettle that I just love - its sleek and stainless steel.. but I have to say, this kettle is so pretty.. it just makes me drool. It's a little pricey at $69 US - but it sure is sexy!

And yes, I'm aware of how boring this post is compared to my latest ones! Like I said, a rut, nothing new.. I'm boring. In fact, I've already changed this post three times now.. I'm going to just try and leave it alone now. Hopefully after my vacation (or during) I'll have something worth mentioning to tell you all.

Eh BadaBoom BadaBing? Meh....

2007-05-09T19:06:00.000-07:00

Tonight was date night, and actually.. looking back on all my past relationships and such, this was officially my very first date. It was the very first time I met some guy somewhere for only a little while, got his number, and called him. (Problem/Lesson#1 but we'll get into that later.) I wasn't even nervous, and frankly.. for me that's beyond HUGE because there's almost nothing that I don't or haven't at some point been nervous about. (Justified or not, I'm just like that.)

Anyway, I'll give you a little of a run down of the date. I met The GM at the East Side Marios here in town, actually, it's attached to the local mall. Even though I was early (I always am) he was already there, which was nice because I didn't have to wait around and I hate when people are late. We went into the restaurant and eventually were finally seated by the rather slow staff, we talked about mostly food, a little about movies and books and just barely chatted about our personal lives and selves. All in all, the evening was nice enough - but there weren't any sparks. The evening ended with the fire alarm in the mall going off, so since we had finished eating already we decided to call it a night. He walked me to my car, we talked, and then I left.

NOW for the ACTUAL (also see brutal) review of the evening and what I've learned:

1) When a guy gives you HIS number, instead of asking for yours, beware because I think it might be a good indication that he doesn't like making the effort in a relationship (whatever the reason, lazy, insecure, etc.) and that you'll be doing most of the "work". This is further proved by:
* I had to make the first call (since he didn't have my #).
* I had to call him tonight to confirm, and he also wanted me to pick the place (originally).
* He wore a T shirt with the logo of the place he works - which means it was free - which means he just wore his laying around the house clothes and couldn't bother to put in that TINY bit of extra effort to look that bit more special for his date. If I wasn't so drunk on the weekend, then I would be able to tell you if it was the same one he wore Saturday night.
* He didn't offer to pick me up, he offered to meet me. (Although I would have declined this, it's nice to make the offer.)
* I think if I would have insisted, I would have paid for dinner. I didn't, learned that lesson long ago. If you offer, or argue, you get stuck with the damn thing. (Note, that I'm not cheap and had we been friends I would have even offered to pay for the whole thing. However, I'm looking for some charm and such here... you're the guy, and common... not always, but the first date?)
* He ended the evening with a "Well, gimme a call if you want to get together." Yeah, no. You should be calling me. I made the first contact move, it's your job to make the next one - to show you're interested. I don't want to be the fox chasing the bunny all the damn time! Geeze.
* The only physical contact we made was when I "accidentally" bumped into him while we were walking to our cars - mostly to see what would happen, it was casual enough to either go unnoticed or if he was interested my body brushing against his should have been an indication that I wasn't afraid to touch him. There was no other physical contact for the evening, not even a move for a hug.
I'll be watching for these men from now on.. no more accepting their numbers without them asking for mine. I want to feel wanted, and not always have to make the first move.

2) I like good conversation, but 2hrs about food and your bad habits isn't what I'd call "good" conversation. It's ok at best, only because we have some stuff in common, and some of it's good to laugh at. However, it tells me also that we have similar struggles, except you're not working on yours.. and may actually pull me back down further into mine. Not a good idea. If you can't come up with anything interesting to say, even about your life.. or to ask me... what will we talk about on date#2, #3?? I need someone more on my level for this.. someone to throw me for a loop, make me think, I want a heated passionate debate that ends in crazy wonderful hot sex. ~winks~ Is that so much to ask? But common, seriously, who drinks 3 glasses of OJ while they sleep at night?!? Do you have any idea how many pnts that would burn from your daily allowance... frig, if I did that I'd gain a pound every night!

3) My friend 'O' advised me awhile ago that, it's the guys job to entertain the girl, and at first I thought this was silly. But then, as I thought about it... it kinda makes a little sense. He should have a plan for the evening, he should be exciting and making sure there's something to talk about or whatever. Frankly, if the guy does that, then the girl will follow in kind. When he's having fun, she'll have fun, and then he'll have more fun. (and if he's lucky, LOTS of fun) But when it takes 3 calls to come up with the plan to eat at East Sides and before that you ask her to pick a place and she does and you decide to go to another place instead.. it's just... well, it's just a dinner out at some place. Nothing exciting, nothing to remember. I don't think that's a good thing for any date... though, I could be wrong...

4) Finally, the last thing I'm going to mention is telling people. Clearly, I've told people that I was going on this date with him - you all knew, and my family knew, etc. I told people because I was excited for me - that I was finally getting out there. However, I'm not sure about the reasoning behind this.. but here it is: The GM is well known in the town for obvious reasons if you know who he is. So, instead of going to a place off on its own - he picked a place attached to the Mall. In the 2hrs we were together he waved/spoke to 4 people he knew. 2 of the people knew he had a date tonight, at that place (How did they know? Since I only found out 1hr before the date?!?). He joked that the two people he waved at were "checking me out" that he had declined an invitation to come there with them and instead came on the date with me. He had given them instructions NOT to come over and bug him.. so instead they waved... and then the walked out of the restaurant and into the hall where the women then peeked over the wall to get another look at me.... ... ok? He also told people he works with that he was coming out with me and they told him not to wear the shirt from work.. well.. apparently he thought that was silly advice. I'm not sure what my point is here, however, I went on a date once with a guy who drove me to his home town to see a move (Keswick, I mention the name only because those who are from the area.. will understand.) and after the move, he decided to drive me past his mothers house or something... and guess what? They were all sitting outside to wave when we drove by, and then down the street was his uncle, and they were outside to wave, etc. etc. It was strange, to say the least.. and tonight.. I kinda felt like... people were given the heads up to keep an eye out for us?? Is that strange...?

Overall, The GM was a nice guy, we had a nice time. I didn't feel drawn to kiss him, or touch him. I wasn't fully trapped in our conversation, and it wasn't a challenge. Further more, I complimented his hair, and said it looked nice. I did not get even so much as "your hair looks nice tonight too" or "Hey baby, you're looking damn good tonight." I did however stop by my neighbors before I went out tonight to say thankyou for the paper she left for me - and I can't tell you the amount of compliments she gave me on how pretty I looked before I left her place - all within a 5 minute span.

I'm sorry The GM.... but I need a guy to make the effort also, I came home from work - redid my hair, my makeup and got changed for our date. I brushed my teeth, put on some peach smelling body spray and slipped into my red heeled boots. I ask you... what did you do to prepare?

The GM watches Judge Judy!

2007-05-08T04:00:00.000-07:00

I talked myself into it last night, or rather - I tried not to over think it too much and just decided to call The GM to see if he would want to get together or something. So I called him, and for a moment, my heart raced in panic until he answered and was like "So! You decided to call, eh? How come not yesterday? Playing the whole waiting game are we?" I laughed, and joked that yes I was playing "the game" and had to wait the appropriate amount of time, and also that if I was a guy I believed the amount of days to wait to call was five, and that we had done it all backwards because I should have given him MY number - not the other way around. We laughed a bit about that, and then chit chatted.

The two things The GM and I have in common so far is food (He likes food, he cooks, so we got talking about food related things, heh.) and also Judge Judy - which apparently we're both so cool that we watch it each evening when we're home.. that's right, I'm the coolest chick you know. ~laughs, winks~

Anyway, so he asked me what I was doing tomorrow, I said I couldn't do anything tomorrow (aka today) because I had plans this evening (which I really do) and then he made a joke and asked about Wednesday. I said Wednesday might be good and he said he'd call today to make the date. We'll see if he actually calls back - point is however, that I made my first move.. and that's another HUGE step for me. I'm still kinda hoping that A Guy Named 'B' calls me so that I can have even more practice, because lets face it - I need it.

On a completely unrelated note - I was very sad yesterday when I went to visit Girls that Eat Pizza's blog to find that she's decided to listen to some dick that said something horrible about her writing and shut down her blog. I just wanted her to know that even though I only just started visiting her blog recently, I really looked forward to it each morning for a smile - and I'll miss reading about her good times and funny stories. ~pouts~ Oh, and I'm going to put the smack down on whoever it was who convinced her to close down her blog - FYI.

Rebecca ~

A Saturday night to remember . . .

2007-05-07T03:49:00.000-07:00

Saturday turned out to be a pretty busy day for yours truly, but to jump ahead to a story that I'm going to try and keep as short as possible - it all started at 10:30pm at Dooleys. GOO and I met up at our decided time at the bar/pool hall, somewhere I've never been, and decided to order ourselves some drinks while checking the place out. It's a nice place, lots of pool tables, black leather couches for people to lounge on, you can play darts and such. Eventually, we moved ourselves over to the bar to sit and scope out any single men we could find.

This is where it starts to get interesting. You have to remember not only do I rarely drink, (Although that has become more frequent lately, heh.) but I also haven't been to a bar in years and even then it was like once, and I've never really been hit on, hit on before. Keep that all in mind while I continue my story.

A Guy Named 'B'
This guy sits up a few seats from where I'm sitting talking to GOO, and I kinda think "He's not bad, not exactly my physical type - but not bad." So, I try to make eye contact with him and fail. Then his friends show up and they all get up and leave to a table to play darts - and you would think that would be the end of it, but it wasn't. He returns to the bar to order him and his friends some drinks and food - but while he's approaching, I catch his eye and smile. You would have sworn he was a plane that had been circling and I had just waved him in that all was clear to land. Cause he B-lined it right for me. GOO said it looked as if he was going to jump on my lap. He was nice, we talked for a bit, he invited me to sit with his friends, play darts and share their chicken wings, I said yeah maybe I'd come over and he returned to his friends. This alone was a HUGE step for me, to even flirt at all with someone.

He returned several times that night, to order drinks and such, each time we took the opportunity to chat between us - and eventually he bought me two shots of Sex on the Beach. Heh, first time a guy has ever bought me a drink, another score for me. ~winks~ By the end him and his friends were leaving and so I gave him my number to call me - we'll see if that actually happens, but still, I put myself out there.

The GM.
Guy number two was completely different from A Guy Named 'B', he was bigger both in size and weight but still appealed to me, a little less after we began to talk but I still didn't write him off. I practiced my flirting, and keeping his attention - all of that worked until finally he gave me his business card with personal cell to call him. He left rather early since we had only gotten there at 10:30pm, but that makes two guys that exchanged info with me. How the hell was I pulling this off??! Surely the sexy red leather boots and low cut shirt couldn't be the ONLY thing they were interested in... could it? (Heh.) Is it possible I looked attractive?

Finally, we'll call him Niles.
Niles was the last guy I flirted with in the evening, he was a friend of a guy I had talked to earlier in the evening, a guy who was all over my friend GOO for attention and it's good because they seemed to be a pretty good match. Niles, and his other friend - SKI - showed up near the end of our evening to talk to their other friend. Instead, I chatted with them both - flirting here and there and just generally working on being interesting and keeping the conversation going. It was clear early on that Niles was in the mood to debate, and argue - that he had a lot of baggage and also that he had a chip on his shoulder. However, he was rather cute - and I do love to talk about life and debate at the best of times. Eventually we ended up sitting together talking about more personal things, and he bought me a drink. (Score again for me!) Next thing I know, we're making out at the bar, his tongue ring is shoved into my mouth (To my surprise actually, and me being all smooth and whatever pulled back from the kiss for a moment and muttered "you have a tongue ring" to which he responded "No I don't" and the kissing resumed. Heh.) and just when he whispers something about wanting to sleep with me (I think that's what he said at least) the freaking bar tender dude says we can't make out at the bar, that if we wanna do that we'll have to take it back home. Common dude!! I don't wanna take the guy home.. I just wanted a little action. Geeze. If you're wondering, no, I didn't go home with him - although I'll be honest, the thought did occur to me. It would have been something I had never done before, but then again - there's prolly a reason I've never done that before. We exchanged our information and that was the end of the evening.

So, that was my Saturday night - It's a long story, and I cut about half of the stuff out in order to make it shorter - I'm not entirely sure how I feel about the whole thing now, I had a bit of a rough time yesterday dealing with things.. which is just me making my life more complicated then it really is. I should just leave it alone and look back on the Saturday for what it was, not for any deeper meanings to life, or what I've lost and gained. I need a new perspective on life.. and if nothing else, it was nice to be found attractive and nice to have gotten out for an evening to meet A Guy Named "B", The GM and Niles. Thanks boys for the much needed attention. Heh.

Have a great day everyone, it's another sunny one out there today,

Rebecca ~

I want a 1/2 FC and 1/2 Coffee please!

2007-05-03T03:43:00.000-07:00

I admit it, I've become a craving freak when it comes to coffee - honestly, I would prefer a coffee from like.. Starbucks, or Second Cup.. or even the Cafe close to my place... but, I've also found a knock off specialty drink that only costs $1.74 instead of a scarier $5-$6! That's right, my good old friend Tim's will make me a 1/2 French Vanilla mixed with 1/2 Coffee each and every morning for $1.74. Except, now I'm no longer drinking it as a treat.. it's turned into "I need one each morning" and then, since I also enjoy coffee at night - if the mood strikes me I'm running to my car in my PJs and scooting out to Tims to pick myself up another "treat", not good. One, it has calories! I'm not sure how many pnts, maybe 2? (Is hoping 2pnts) Two, 1.74 starts to add up if you have 5+ coffees a week!! So now I'm trying to get back off the coffee drinking, and yet, I really have no desire to do so... Damn you Tims for being so accessible!!!

Anyway, other updates for you. I saw this commercial on TV for a new reality series (actually two) and one was called "On the Lot" and it starts May 22nd and appears to be about film makers trying to make short films and competing for some prize. I think I might have to watch this only because I bet the films will be fantastic! Also, there was another commercial about another reality series (I can't believe they are still so popular... or they're just cheap to make, whichever.) and it was about Pirates?!? Um, what... ok.. well, you know what? I might have to watch this show, because honestly.. why would you want to be a Pirate? Anyway, it starts at the end of this month also, I'm not sure what day though - sorry for all of you who were on the edge of your seat when you saw me mention a Pirate show...

I'm still standing at the base of the F%*$ing wall, it's really irritating me. 3 Days bouncing around the same 0.8lbs is just a little much for me... common body!! Drop it already, let it go, I know you can do it. I worked really hard Monday and Tuesday to get it off.. and last night would have been my night to push - and instead, I didn't and ate just a little too much.. stupid eh? It's like I'm screwing myself over, heh. So, again today, I will try and push myself to do better. ~grumbles~

And my Final topic to discuss, and if ANYONE has any hints, tips, whatever please do share - I'm having money troubles. Well, not really yet, but kinda. My car is sucking back my cash (cash that I don't have to spend on it) it's broken three times in 2wks and as we speak is sitting downstairs in the parking garage leaking whatever the hell it's leaking. Frankly, I'm at the point that I hope the damn thing blows up. So, I've been trying to come up with ways to save $ because I also have a brand new Mortgage, condo fees and prop taxes to pay - along with all the extra expenses that every day brings. My ideas so far have been:
* Cash in points, this includes Visa, AirMiles and at work we have things called PowerPoints.

Well, that's it. ~laughs~ That's my only idea so far... so as you can see, I need HELP. ~whimper~ Honestly guys, if you have any ideas please do share them with me... I'm newly out here on my own and could use any knowledge you've all gained.

Anyway, I gotta run and get ready for work. Hope you all have a wonderful day and the rest of the week is filled with Sun pictures on the Weather Network so YAY!

Rebecca ~

The "Wall".

2007-04-30T14:54:00.000-07:00

I continue to stand at the base of this huge "Wall" that prevents me from dropping into a lower range of weight - again, I'm just hovering around the same pound, up .2lbs, down .6lbs, back up .8lbs. It's driving me a little B-a-n-a-n-a-s! (hehe, did anyone else see The Office this week??) Anyway, soon I'm going to take a running, full tilt body tackling run at this wall and move down three more pounds. I have to admit, if I'm not at least a 3lb range from lets say this weight, then I don't honestly believe I've LOST the weight at all... only because I know I can undo all the work with just one or two days of eating badly. So, generally, I do not report losses until I'm 3lbs lower than the weight I decide that I'll let everyone know - I know, I'm strange. I just hate having to say "Oh, I went back up, nope, today back down. This way, when I say I've lost 3lbs or 5lbs I'm in a safety zone that means I really did!

Anyway, enough about that. I'm doing alright, today I wasn't feeling so good but we all have those days. I found some time this weekend to read a bit more of Shopgirl and I know know what it is about the book, but I'm really enjoying it. It makes me laugh, and some parts I even read over just to "hear" it again because it rings so true or is so interesting to me. Meh, I dunno, read it yourselves to see what you think.. it's a small book, less than 200pgs so it's no biggie for someone to sit and read it in one evening.

I've been eating sweet potatoes lately for something different, and all I've been doing is mixing soya sauce and olive oil with spices in a plastic bag and then dicing sweet potatoes (aka yams, incase someone doesn't know the other name) and carrots and then coating them in the mixture before baking for about 20mins on 375F. So yummy, and it's really good to mix into rice and I don't bother putting anything else on the rice except that. It really is good, and not that many pnts.

OK, I'm gunna get going. I'll talk to you all later and try to stop by your Blogs.

Rebecca ~

Whew.

2007-04-27T15:18:00.000-07:00

I just finished my walking workout video - the 2 Mile, and you know what? It's freakin a workout! I'm completely drained of energy and sweaty at the moment - nice eh? I figured I might as well do it, no need to start dinner the second I get home - plus doing it later isn't an option with the person below me.. they get all moody and bang on my floor. ~winks~ Here's hoping that GOO doesn't call me from her non-date tonight to come save her... otherwise I'm going to have to jump in the shower and clean myself up.

Weight wise I'm doing alright, could be better. I'm determined (I think?) to break the 3lb wall that I've been running face first into for weeks now. As of this morning I was actually on the other side of the "wall" but that's usually when I screw up and find myself the 3lbs heavier again. No more! I say. This weekend I'm going to push myself NOT to screw up... it's nice at least when you get past it.. and when your 'screw up' days bring you to what used to be a low weight, but now is considered your higher side.. keeps me motivated at least when I see the scale going up to knock it back down. I'm still fighting to loose 20lbs though before my sisters wedding.. I mean, I'm getting into crunch time now.. only 2 months left and I've still got about 10 - 15 lbs to go. (15 is safer, in case I have a screw up day.)

Mishy, thanks for lending me the book, but, to be honest.. I'm still only on page 13.. I know! I suck, I'm going to try and read some more this weekend.. maybe I'll go hang at the cafe and relax.

Sarah, thanks for the wahoo, and I thought I told you that him and I got back together? Maybe not.. anyway, things got pretty bad between us. We couldn't talk without fighting, and honestly.. to go into it here might not be a wise move for me right now. However, there have been many almost written posts that would have clearly shown how angry I am about the entire thing.. a story for another day, perhaps.

Meta, the quote is from Shopgirl, by Steve Martin. Mishy lent it to me.. since I haven't finished it (barely started it, actually) she would be the better one to ask if it was any good! Heh.

I'm a Homeowner!

2007-04-24T16:01:00.000-07:00

That's right people, I'm registered, I've signed the millions of documents and paid my closing fees, will hopefully be expecting a couple rebates in the nearish future and.......
the condo is officially in MY NAME.
I am a first time home owner, and am living on my own - supporting myself.
w00t w00t's are in order I would think . . . ~winks~

That's pretty much all I have to say at this point in time, however, I just started reading this book and wanted to write down this quote because I thought it was rather fitting:
"He knows only what is right in front of him; she is aware of every incoming sensation that glances obliquely against her soft, fragile core. At this stage of their lives, in true and total fact, the only thing they have in common is a Laundromat."

Anyway, have a wonderful evening everyone,

Rebecca ~

A new start.

2007-04-15T18:04:00.000-07:00

Taking a deep breath, I'm going to try to move forward.

Hopefully, those who read my Blog have all found me here, since I think I'm going to shut my previous Blog down - and replace it with this new one. For those of you who don't know, my Boyfriend, Goober, and I have broken up. It's been . . . a process, to say the least. But last night, he finally called it quits. For now, maybe all together, frankly . . . I don't want to think about down the road, or if we'll ever speak again. I'm having a hard enough time just accepting that it's come around again, and kicked me in the ass. There are several versions of me that I'm hearing/listening to on this subject. There's the sad me who cant let go, the one who wants to fight to make it work (even though I've fought the fight, and lost), one that is furiously angry, one that wants to believe it will all work out, another that's ready to move one, and finally, a very confused me at the end of it all. Honestly, it depends what mood you catch me in, and even then, I seem to be shifting through all these phases so quickly you'll prolly see a little of each in every conversation. I don't want to go into any more detail than this, because it's difficult, and I'm not sure what it would accomplish. Life is never certain, even though I wish it would be.

Weight wise, I'm doing horrible. I honestly don't even want to talk about the last few days - but tomorrow, I'm determined to pull myself out of the hazy funk, at least somewhat, and try to keep myself focused on anything besides what I mentioned above. I guess in the next few days we'll see how much damage I caused over the course of 48hrs.

I'm not going to write any more than this, there's not much I feel like talking about at this very moment . . . but the last thing I wanted to do was continue using the nickname that Goober gave me (Goobie) and constantly be reminded about the breakup and everything I'm supposed to forget about now that it's over . . .

Rebecca ~
(Aka, of course, Becca.)